Being from a large family, I have struggled with feelings of insignificance. I'm the middle of eleven children... one of 11! Now, that's a lot of love for my parents to have to try to spread out. I don't know if I'm the only one in my family that has struggled with this, but I have (just sayin'). Even though I always knew I was loved, I often times didn't feel loved. I had the sweetest childhood and I was well taken care of. My parents (as you can tell from most of my posts) were wonderful parents who did an amazing job, but raising eleven children, is completely different from raising one, two or even three children. So, for me, for some reason, I just never felt all that important.
I think those feelings have had an effect on my total understanding of God's love. (He has a lot more than eleven children to deal with.) I know he is my "Abba", Daddy. "Abba" is a term of endearment expressed by a young child to his loving father, his daddy, the one who wipes his tears, holds him in his lap, picks him up and cradles him when he's sad or hurt. But do I truly understand my God like that? Do I grasp that He desires to hold me and care for me in an even greater way than I have for my children? I can't imagine loving my children more than I do.
Some of my best worship experiences are when I truly try to focus on the words to the songs as we sing. The song that really hit me emotionally this morning was "You are My King (Amazing Love)". Much like the song Randy picked last week "The Love of God", the writer of this song in a simple way expresses the depth of God's love for us:
I’m forgiven, because You were forsaken
I’m accepted, You were condemned
I’m alive and well, Your spirit lives within me
Because you died and rose again
Amazing love, how can it be
That You my king would die for me?
Amazing love, I know it’s true
And it’s my joy to honor You
In all I do I honor You
You are my king, You are my king,
Jesus, You are my king,
Jesus, You are my king
"The Preacher" (as I affectionately call him) preached about facing our giants in life. At the end of the sermon he talked about having faith to be able to claim God's work in our lives, even when we are in the midst of the battle. For years, I have struggled with fear and worry (can I get an "Amen" from any mothers out there?). Today, I'm reminded that I can trust God even when things are not all worked out for the good... just yet. My prayer needs to change from "fix this, God (please)" to "thank You, because I KNOW You already have this worked out for Your good" and just simply trust in Him.
"...that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Eph. 3:17-19)